I Hate This Feeling..

What is this..? Oh, what a feeling.. A sad, terrible feeling.. I feel odd.. I feel afraid.. I want to..

What did I do?..
. Did I hurt him..?
. Did I reject him when he came..?
. Did I fail him on something..?
. Am I not there when he needed me..?
. Did I break his trust or a promise..?
What..? I need to know what..

We said that whatever may happen, we'll stick together..
We said that whenever any of us needs somebody, we're free..
We said that having each other means alot, so we stayed..
We said that whatever's bothering us or in our minds and hearts, we share..
But..?

. But why do I feel like this..? I feel so unfair.. As if I'm not the kind of friend I thought I'd be..
Don't say "NO." I know what I've done..And I feel so bad about it...
. ...SO BAD.......

I did not stick, I separated myself..
I'm not free, I'm always bust on others that I lost my time for him..
I did not stay, even if it means alot, but I hope he understand.. (Even thought I, myself do not.. XP)
. But he means so much to me.. I did not share but I always force him to..

That's it.. That's why.. I guess I'm the one...
. ...I HURT HIM.......

. I feel like I'm no longer the "me" I used to know.. I lost myself.. And my only companion that's left.
I feel terrible.. I feel he hates me now.. He don't like me anymore..
. As if he's just saying "I don't," just to make me feel better.. But no.. It won't, it can't, and it doesn't..
. That's it, what if I walk out of his life?.. It'd be easier for him 'cause he doesn't have to worry about me anymore.. Maybe he'd find someone better than me..

I know it'll be hard for both of us AT FIRST, but that pain won't last.. It will just become a memory soon.. Uhm..?

WAIT!! Why am I saying this..? Is this the end..?

No.. No..? No..!? No..! NO!! I can't describe what I feel.. I feel as if no one likes me anymore.. They hate me!.. Maybe at first, they'd love to be friends with me.. But wait a little longer, look and see and watch.. They'll know me deeper and they'll know that I'm not real..
...that I'm just an ILLUSION.. :'(

. I feel like I'll never meet e true friend.. 'Cause I think, I believe, that I myself am not true.. I miss him, myself, and everybody..!

. I hate this feeling..! I hate it! I HATE it..! I HATE IT..!!
. Does anybody.. "Hear"..?

Miu07 (3/1/11)

-=SilenT_Tears07=-

K-Off Anniversary..? :'(

Okay, that was really bad..

We waited for this day to come.. (April 25, 2011)
We planned what to do, where to celebrate, what to eat, what to wear, what we need, etc..

First of all, these things which we planned didn't come true..
It didn't progress..

Why..?
Well, I don't know too..

But all I see is, we're having a big problem between our relationship..
We're being cold to each other starting from 2 months ago..

What a terrible day..
Well, I'm sorry (to God) for calling this day terrible..
But I can't even say (un)'Happy Anniversary K-on!'
I thought we would stay together since we've gone through different situations but still, from the 5 of them, she stayed standing still..
She left me once, but then came back again and promised me not to do it again, so I gave her another try..
This time, she showed me that I didn't wasted my time for her..
What now..? :'(

Oh, look at the sunset..
This day should really be great.. But.. :'(
The sun is colored red this afternoon..
Looks like it's celebrating with us.. (praise GOD)
FYI, 'red' is our color.. So 'Red' means alot to us..

What should I do..? ='(

I don't wanna lose anybody any more!
I want to tell her that 'I love her very much!'
But i don't even know how to approach her..
I don't know whether she feels good or bad about what's happening to us..
Oh, I miss her.. :(
I really miss her so..

I also want to tell her this:

Dislove,
islove,
thelove,
bestlove,
waylove,
tolove,
saylove,
datlove,
ilove,
rilylove,
mislove,
ulove,
solove,
muchlove,

Now, read it without the word 'love'..


. How can I tell her this..?

-=SilenT_Tears07=-

Alone Again.. Being Alone.. Again..

Being alone is one of the saddest conditions for a human being to experience.
You may feel alone with your family,
if you think that no one understands you.

Often people are afraid to share who they are
because they think that they will be rejected.
However, if you are not sharing who you are,
you are not truly with the people you love.

On the other hand when you share you true self,
you risk being rejected.
Often individuals seek people out of the family unit
with whom they can share themselves without fear of rejection.

-Unknown-

-=SilenT_Tears07=-

ACCEPT GOD TODAY.. NOT A MOMENT TO LOSE...

Everybody, close your eyes, and place your right hand over your heart. 
Raise your left hand and if you feel like crying, then cry.

Now tell the Lord what you feel in your heart.
For those who want to accept the Lord, repeat after me. 
Lord, I thank You for Your love and Your mercy, thank You, Lord, for the word that has reached my heart today.

Father, I ask for Your forgiveness. 
Forgive me. 
Wash me with Your precious blood. 
Write my name in the Book of Life. 
Accept me as Your child, Lord.

Right now, I forgive anyone that I had not been able to forgive. 
I renounce to my lack of forgiveness. 
I renounce all things that have hindered Your flow, and I ask You to transform me and to fill me with Your presence every day.

Thank You, Father, Son and Holy Spirit; in the Name of Jesus, Amen.

-=No_Limits07=-

I Promise..

Will I always be there for you..?
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need..?
Will I do all my best to, to protect you..?
When the tears get near your eyes..
Will I be the one that's by your side..?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night..?
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life..?
I promise.. I promise I will..

Will I take tender care of you..?
Take your darkest night.. and make it bright for you..?
Will I be there to make you strong, and to lean on..?
When this world has turned so cold..
Will I be the one that's there to hold..?


And I love you more every day..
And nothing will take that love away..
When you need someone..
I promise I'll be there for you..

. Whew.. I promise.. pro, help me not to break those promises too..
. Tell me if nagkukulang aq.. Auq n mgpbya..Mrami ng nwla..

. P L E A S E..?

-=SilenT_Tears07=-