I Hate This Feeling..

What is this..? Oh, what a feeling.. A sad, terrible feeling.. I feel odd.. I feel afraid.. I want to..

What did I do?..
. Did I hurt him..?
. Did I reject him when he came..?
. Did I fail him on something..?
. Am I not there when he needed me..?
. Did I break his trust or a promise..?
What..? I need to know what..

We said that whatever may happen, we'll stick together..
We said that whenever any of us needs somebody, we're free..
We said that having each other means alot, so we stayed..
We said that whatever's bothering us or in our minds and hearts, we share..
But..?

. But why do I feel like this..? I feel so unfair.. As if I'm not the kind of friend I thought I'd be..
Don't say "NO." I know what I've done..And I feel so bad about it...
. ...SO BAD.......

I did not stick, I separated myself..
I'm not free, I'm always bust on others that I lost my time for him..
I did not stay, even if it means alot, but I hope he understand.. (Even thought I, myself do not.. XP)
. But he means so much to me.. I did not share but I always force him to..

That's it.. That's why.. I guess I'm the one...
. ...I HURT HIM.......

. I feel like I'm no longer the "me" I used to know.. I lost myself.. And my only companion that's left.
I feel terrible.. I feel he hates me now.. He don't like me anymore..
. As if he's just saying "I don't," just to make me feel better.. But no.. It won't, it can't, and it doesn't..
. That's it, what if I walk out of his life?.. It'd be easier for him 'cause he doesn't have to worry about me anymore.. Maybe he'd find someone better than me..

I know it'll be hard for both of us AT FIRST, but that pain won't last.. It will just become a memory soon.. Uhm..?

WAIT!! Why am I saying this..? Is this the end..?

No.. No..? No..!? No..! NO!! I can't describe what I feel.. I feel as if no one likes me anymore.. They hate me!.. Maybe at first, they'd love to be friends with me.. But wait a little longer, look and see and watch.. They'll know me deeper and they'll know that I'm not real..
...that I'm just an ILLUSION.. :'(

. I feel like I'll never meet e true friend.. 'Cause I think, I believe, that I myself am not true.. I miss him, myself, and everybody..!

. I hate this feeling..! I hate it! I HATE it..! I HATE IT..!!
. Does anybody.. "Hear"..?

Miu07 (3/1/11)

-=SilenT_Tears07=-